I am still fighting with the idea of going or staying here in Chicago, I really really wanted to leave at one point last week. Then by the end of the week I just figured that I would stay here until I got more caught up with stuff. I don't know if I would be able to find that good of a job over there anyway. Then on Friday night I had two messages on my house phone from places that I had applied to. I called them back today but was only able to get ahold of one of the people but I do have a phone interview set up for tomorrow 9a.m. Also Saturday Jose started calling me again and kept on calling me and calling me. He is beong really persistant and I am trying to be cold. It's hard though. Then I got what I needed last night that other person called me and we talked for over 2 hours about nothing and everything. He keeps landing in my path at the right times. I think that it's all a plan to keep me away from Jose. God works in mysterious ways.

So yeah I come into work today and find the rummors to be true. National City has been sold!!!! Yeah for those of you that don't know, that's where I work. It has been sold to PNC which is some sort of Pittsburg based company. I am glad that it's not a Chicago bank though.

These past couple weeks have had so many ups and downs. There is Jose, whom I loved and had to let go because I know my life would be better without him and there is the fact that he is starting to get desperate calling me and texting me all day. He is wanting to see me, telling me he loves me and that his life isn't worth living without me in it. But I can't go back things aren't going to change I know it. The thing is yeah it kills me because I loved him so much I gave him my heart and worst of all my money. He said he wants to take care of us, but he hasn't done that in six years, I have been doing it all along by myself and getting myself farther and farther down.

It's been a really long time since I have even logged on here. I guess I didn't have much to say or was really busy with stuff. A long 6 years it has been with me and Jose. I loved him with everything that I had and tried and tried, things didn't change besides being further into debt. I finally came to the decision that it was best to leave him, and I am really trying my best to stick to it this time. I really am done, I am starting to feel the weight lift off of my shoulders and see life in a different way.
My sister got married yesterday!!! Congrats to her. She should be in Austrailia today hopefully... she was going there for her honeymoon.
So now my concerns are resting on the rest of MY life and I don't want to be held back. I would like to find some one that I can be with forever but I want it to be right this time. It's not that I am in a rush or anything at this point. I just have to think a lot.

So yeah, I used to be so addicted to this site, I would read all about the bird communities. Now I just don't have time or make time or don't even think about it. I haven't been spending much time with my poor birdies since I got the puppy at the end of april, of course I still feed them and stuff. They all can be a lot of work. I have been working over 40 hours some of the time lately as well. Yeah so my life is busy but still kind of boring.

Right now I am at work. It's raining like crazy outside. So when that happens, everything gets empty, they don't want to be out in the rain. I don't know why I am posting on here, I guess that I am just bored or something, in a way. I just called Jose, I talked to him for a minute and he told me that he had another call and then silence, then there was a little click of when he hung up the phone after the other call. Whatever. I am getting tired of it, I really am. I love him a whole lot that's why I am still with him, I was hoping that one day he'd grow up and we'd get married, but from the looks of things now that's not going to happen, at least not anytime soon.
On Sunday I went to the lake with the girls that I used to babysit for, their mother, grandmother and their aunt. It was really nice, despite the heat I really enjoyed myself. I need to get out more and do something with my life, rather than sit at home hoping that Jose will call and want to do something or even worse just show up when I am about to go somewhere else.
I know I know everyone has told me, just leave him already, but it's hard. We just made five years together, that's a big chunk of my life.

i haven't posted on here forever. yes I am stil alive though. I am still working at the bank. I got a new puppy a little over a month ago for my birthday after one of my kitties died a few days before that. my puppy is sooo cute, but she is a little pain, lol.. Anyways maybe I will post again soon, I am going to bed probably.
laterz

Thursday night I went out with my friend Yvonne and her daughter who is almost 2 to Shooters. For those of you that don't know what that is, it's this one restaurant that has a buffet. Last night I went to a movie with Jose and a couple of his friends. I got a call the other night from Ali, he was this one guy that I used to like in Minnesota, who is now in Arizona, I really don't like to talk to him too much, because all he wants to do is try to come and visit him, he tells me that he misses me and wants to be with me, marry me, etc etc. I really don't have feelings for him anymore so it makes the few conversations that I do ever have with him really weird. Then when I told Jose that I talked to him it made him mad, I can kind of understand but at the same time it's not like I am really going to run off to Arizona with the guy. I would say we are a safe distance apart. Today I got up and went to work, oooh how thrilling, it is about the same as every Sat morning, I end up staying out late Friday night and then being totally tired by the time I have to get up. I am back to 20 hours now, I thought that I would get a lot done around the house and stuff, but didn't because I was sick most of the week, it's funny how things (don't) work out. Now I am going to take a shower and maybe meet up with my sister and go maybe to wal-mart or something.
Oh yeah tomorrow I am going to go to Union Grove Wisconsin to the track if it's not raining, and race my car.

After a long time I finally succombed to myspace a few months ago. The weird thing is I was looking up people on there last night and found out that there are a few of my friends from grammar school on there that I haven't talked to in years, so I sent them an invite. Though I don't do any blog writing on there, I do that all here. None of those crazy people need to know my business anyway. The last couple of days I have been sick, that is no fun, I was off Tuesday, and sick, then worked yesterday morning and still sick, then off again today and still sick, that is not fair, I finally got a couple of days off of work and then I have to feel terrible.
Well in the good light of things, I found out yesterday that my aunt will probably be out of the building by the end of the month, i feel for her in a way, but then again if she can't manage to pay a measily $250 a month rent, she needs to get a dose of reality. Then the good part about it anyway is that I am supposedly going to get her apt.
Well, I think that I am going to go and take some more nyquil, and try to get some more rest.

Again life has changed so much, but at the same time really hasn't changed that much. I am tying to deal with all the things that life throws at me. I finally got a new job about 3 months ago. Yeah, no more pizza hut for now. I am working at National City bank. It is so much better there for now. I have to take care of customers and so forth. Though I don't have to run around all day and make sure that the dough isn't over proofing, and that the pizzas aren't burning, and that the driver took the right delivery. I actually can work at a decent pace in a very much better enviorment. My boyfriend, he also has a new job, for a couple of months now. I hope that it works out for him.

Okay so I haven't been on too much and I really haven't written too much lately, so here I go. I applied for a new job online towards the end of April at a bank. Guess what I got it. I started my two week book training May 15th. May 1st was my b'day which basically came and went like every year, but I had a good time. Now I have been in the branch for a couple of weeks. I am catching on well, things are fairly easy, I just need to get used to all of it. My boyfriend, yes I am still with him, won tickets to the Stained concert on the radio, I think that it was like May 17th. I really enjoyed it, and that's when I fell in love with the band HURT. They are really good, only if you like that type of music. So I ended up joining myspace just to find out more about them. I generally had a negative attitude about myspace because all the creeps out there seem to be on it. Though I actually have been having a good time, because I have been making friends with all kinds of cool new bands. Last night I made my friend Kristy go to Wise Fools Pub with me to see AutoVaughn play, they are from Nashville Tennesee, and she really enjoyed it. I decided that I need to get out more, and since they had sent me an invite, I went. It was actually a lot better than I expected, I even bought their CD at the end and had the band sign it. *grin* They are really cool. Kristy told that she had a really good time and would like to do that stuff more often, and I told her so would I. Thanks to myspace I have been getting all sorts of invites, though some of them aren't that great, I think it would be fun to go to a few. Well I will leave you with all that for now. Until later. I feel so much more free without pizza hut I can actually have a life for the first time.

Well, I don't have an awful lot of time since I have to go to work in a little while. I closed, wednesday, opened thursday, closed friday (which was a stressful day), and then closed last night, but since my boss is so stressed out she took of this Fri, Sat, and Sunday. Yesterday some one from another restaurant opened, but he had to go to work at his Pizza Hut so I had to come in at 1. I may as well have just opened myself, since they only had been open for 2 hours and when I got there nothing was done. Not to mention the guy had an extra person there to help and they were only on ticket #11. Then I get to close again today which isn't as bad but I have to be there 2 hours earlier than my schedule again. For the first time this year it's become a little nicer outside and I have to spend the whole day stressed out at work. Well, on the bright side of things, I heard that I am supposed to be getting promoted soon and may be going to another Pizza Hut, at this point I don't care. That's fine, I love most of my crew and that store is doing pretty well but there are big issues with the management. I want to get a promotion so that I can pay off my bills and move out. Although I still owe my mom plenty of money especially since when my car got stolen she lent me the money to get a new one. I don't like being in this situation. I know I could go on but I really have to get going.

I think that I have been on this computer way too much lately, lol. I spent yesterday, my day off by the computer most of the day. Then I get up today and do the same thing, though I do have to work tonight. I tried taking a couple of pictures of myself last night, a couple came out OK and I posted them on flickr. Though I really do hate pics of myself. Oh well, being on the computer is cheaper than going out and spending money. Last night was another really cold night, it was supposedly going to get below 0. I don't reallly know if it did for sure or not but when I looked at my atomic clock around 4 in the morning it said that it was 5 degrees outside. I know I am probably boring you to death by now, so I will let you go.

So do you ever have those days that you get up and do nothing? Well, not totally nothing, but yeah it's your day off and you never leave the house? Of course I took care of my babies (pets for those who don't know) and I spent a lot of time on the computer. Yeah I slept a couple extra hours, I needed it, but where did the day go? I think I let all of it go by while I sat in front of my computer playing with livejournal, lol. Yes, tomorrows another day, but that is another day that I have to work. Well actually it's almost 1 a.m. so yeah I have to work later today. Time slips through our fingers, it's seems to go by faster and faster with age. It's scarey sometimes, I feel sometime what about the other acomplishments I wanted out of life and now my time is running so short. How am I going to feel when I am 40 if time is running faster and faster now?

Don't you love the days that you WAKE UP with a headache? ( Read more... ) Well thats enough about my me for now.

hi ( Read more... ) I am trying to get this to work...

I woke up this morning around 7am after getting out of work last night and talking to my sister for a while. After hanging up with her I made spagetti, lol.. I didn't really like it too much though, but I really am not a big eater of spagetti anyway. I am off today. I am still waiting for these people to call me for a second interview. I am supposed to call sometime today if they don't. So anyway, I got up this morning and changed my birds' water, fed my fish, and watched all of them for a while, then got on the computer and looked at a few things like my pics of my babies etc, and then LiveJournal, lol. Well maybe I will try to take a nap because I want to enjoy some of my day and not sleep through the middle of it.

well, I went to the interview, it only lasted about 5 min. But they are going to call me tonight and set up a time for a second interview with another manager. Hopefully it goes well. *crosses fingers*

I know I should still be sleeping, I have been up since around 6 this morning. And I did go to bed pretty late after working last night etc. Well anyway I have a job interview at the Rainforest Cafe this morning at 10:30 so that is why I can't sleep. Well anyways, wish me luck. I think this is what I really need a change of pace somewhat, after 6 years at Pizza Hut and still not getting anywhere. Wish me luck.

Hey guess what? I know that linnapaw will be impressed, I upgraded to a paid account of LJ. Now I just need to figure out what I can do with it right? Well right now I have hair dye sitting in my hair to it's probably the best time to play with it. lol.